Costanza quotes

(George driving with his girlfriend in his car)
George: you know I spilled a smoothie in here two days ago (proudly)
George: can't smell anything can you?
Girlfriend: banana

George: what kind of person are you?
Jerry: Pretty much you. Only successful.

George: now Jerry, remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.

George: you shoulda seen the look on her face. It was the same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.

George- is it my imagination or do really good looking woman walk a lot faster.
Elaine- we don't walk that fast.

George: I have huge respect for people that work with feet. I mean, dedicating your whole life to feet?

George: I don't think I'm special. My mother always tells me I'm not special.

George's girlfriend: thank you for a wonderful time George.
George: glad you enjoyed it.
Girlfriend: I haven't had a Big Mac in a long time.

George: these pretzels are making me thirsty!!!

George: where'd you meet her?
Jerry: an elevator.
George: you met her on an elevator?
Jerry: impossible right?
George: you got less than 60 seconds. It's like dismantling a time bomb.

Jerry: the best revenge is living well.

George: well that's not goin to happen.

Tobaccos effect on the deaf

70 percent of boys and girls can't do a single chin up,
This makes me think of the time I almost lost my dad.
I do the work of god
I'd seen pictures of the creature before,
Put whatchamacallit A into whosit B, turn 62.5 degrees, and crank it with a grumble wrench.
I'm sure she did
They lived in gloom
It also had space.
A bit like Tim Duncan today.
He shook himself like a horse trying to rid itself of a fly
So how do we get past the language barrier without being deaf?
Take time to be bored
Children's music that adults will also enjoy
The 3rd nightmare came quickly the following evening
And the surge of anger that follows brings me to my senses
Se sees nothing to blame in it
Gecko is signing the Declaration of Independence
Physicians are now part of the handicapped care team
Without a doubt, many youngsters who use chewing tobacco are copying baseball players.

Newspaper blackout

We are still not our full potential,
Stumbling again
Until problems fix
Change

NBA season

There are a couple things I need to get off my chest with this new nba season.
-the jazz need to start Derrick favors. The kids a beast. We need to trade al Jefferson or Paul millsap.
-the lakers have no identity. Offensive they don't know what the heck they are doing. They aren't using Steve Nash like they should. If they would let Steve Nash play then I think they would be pumping out some wins. But Kobe is the coach of the team and won't let this happen he must have the ball. (Yes I know mike brown is the coach but let's be honest, he doesn't know a thing about basketball)
-James harden is a baller and okc needs him. Kevin Martin is no harden. Harden was the point guard for okc. Martin does nothing on the court but take shots from durant. Harden can rebound, defend, and pass the ball.
-ray Allen was a good signing. I'm sick of people saying he can't do crap. He can do crap. See ending of Denver game.
-cavs have no offensive players besides Irving. Magic are doing fine without Howard. Heat are still the team to beat. Jimmer still sucks and will never get to play. The spurs are who we thought they were. And bobcats are on track to be the worst team in the league. I know they won one but have you watched them play? Expect this team to be picking in the lottery next year. Bobcats are worse than the raptors. Who would ever think raptors are worse? Idiots.

Life as a child

I remember when Pokemon cards were currency. I remember my friend crying when i got a mewtwo in a pokemon pack. I remember my brother chasing me around the house with a knife. I remember watching my friend pee on my sidewalk after leaving my house. I remember my brother pooping in the street. The stain has yet to come off the street. I remember when late nights meant 9:30. I remember the look on my moms face when she walked into the bathroom and saw that I pooped in the tub. I remember when I couldn't sleep unless I had my 5 stuffed animals in my bed. I grew out of this 3 years ago. I remember purposely clogging the slide at school just to piss of the aids. I remember sitting in the principals office for 3 hours and hearing the same deer sing the same song every time someone walked through the door. I remember tanner Johnson throwing up milk in my sixth grade class. I could have framed that white, clumpy crap. I remember rotting milk in my locker in middle school. It eventually spilled everywhere and smelled the whole halls for weeks.

Things I need answered

These are some questions that I have never been able to answer myself.

What's the difference between Irish and Scottish?

Who's better in their prime: LeBron or Kobe? (I already know the answer but I like hearing people discuss it)

What are the point of Mosquitos?(it's more a question for god but if you can explain please tell me)

Why do they put Pokemon like celebi or mew in the game when you have to cheat to get them?

Why do I spend so much money on McDonalds monopoly? #uea2011