Costanza quotes

(George driving with his girlfriend in his car)
George: you know I spilled a smoothie in here two days ago (proudly)
George: can't smell anything can you?
Girlfriend: banana

George: what kind of person are you?
Jerry: Pretty much you. Only successful.

George: now Jerry, remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.

George: you shoulda seen the look on her face. It was the same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.

George- is it my imagination or do really good looking woman walk a lot faster.
Elaine- we don't walk that fast.

George: I have huge respect for people that work with feet. I mean, dedicating your whole life to feet?

George: I don't think I'm special. My mother always tells me I'm not special.

George's girlfriend: thank you for a wonderful time George.
George: glad you enjoyed it.
Girlfriend: I haven't had a Big Mac in a long time.

George: these pretzels are making me thirsty!!!

George: where'd you meet her?
Jerry: an elevator.
George: you met her on an elevator?
Jerry: impossible right?
George: you got less than 60 seconds. It's like dismantling a time bomb.

Jerry: the best revenge is living well.

George: well that's not goin to happen.

Tobaccos effect on the deaf

70 percent of boys and girls can't do a single chin up,
This makes me think of the time I almost lost my dad.
I do the work of god
I'd seen pictures of the creature before,
Put whatchamacallit A into whosit B, turn 62.5 degrees, and crank it with a grumble wrench.
I'm sure she did
They lived in gloom
It also had space.
A bit like Tim Duncan today.
He shook himself like a horse trying to rid itself of a fly
So how do we get past the language barrier without being deaf?
Take time to be bored
Children's music that adults will also enjoy
The 3rd nightmare came quickly the following evening
And the surge of anger that follows brings me to my senses
Se sees nothing to blame in it
Gecko is signing the Declaration of Independence
Physicians are now part of the handicapped care team
Without a doubt, many youngsters who use chewing tobacco are copying baseball players.

Newspaper blackout

We are still not our full potential,
Stumbling again
Until problems fix
Change

NBA season

There are a couple things I need to get off my chest with this new nba season.
-the jazz need to start Derrick favors. The kids a beast. We need to trade al Jefferson or Paul millsap.
-the lakers have no identity. Offensive they don't know what the heck they are doing. They aren't using Steve Nash like they should. If they would let Steve Nash play then I think they would be pumping out some wins. But Kobe is the coach of the team and won't let this happen he must have the ball. (Yes I know mike brown is the coach but let's be honest, he doesn't know a thing about basketball)
-James harden is a baller and okc needs him. Kevin Martin is no harden. Harden was the point guard for okc. Martin does nothing on the court but take shots from durant. Harden can rebound, defend, and pass the ball.
-ray Allen was a good signing. I'm sick of people saying he can't do crap. He can do crap. See ending of Denver game.
-cavs have no offensive players besides Irving. Magic are doing fine without Howard. Heat are still the team to beat. Jimmer still sucks and will never get to play. The spurs are who we thought they were. And bobcats are on track to be the worst team in the league. I know they won one but have you watched them play? Expect this team to be picking in the lottery next year. Bobcats are worse than the raptors. Who would ever think raptors are worse? Idiots.

Life as a child

I remember when Pokemon cards were currency. I remember my friend crying when i got a mewtwo in a pokemon pack. I remember my brother chasing me around the house with a knife. I remember watching my friend pee on my sidewalk after leaving my house. I remember my brother pooping in the street. The stain has yet to come off the street. I remember when late nights meant 9:30. I remember the look on my moms face when she walked into the bathroom and saw that I pooped in the tub. I remember when I couldn't sleep unless I had my 5 stuffed animals in my bed. I grew out of this 3 years ago. I remember purposely clogging the slide at school just to piss of the aids. I remember sitting in the principals office for 3 hours and hearing the same deer sing the same song every time someone walked through the door. I remember tanner Johnson throwing up milk in my sixth grade class. I could have framed that white, clumpy crap. I remember rotting milk in my locker in middle school. It eventually spilled everywhere and smelled the whole halls for weeks.

Things I need answered

These are some questions that I have never been able to answer myself.

What's the difference between Irish and Scottish?

Who's better in their prime: LeBron or Kobe? (I already know the answer but I like hearing people discuss it)

What are the point of Mosquitos?(it's more a question for god but if you can explain please tell me)

Why do they put Pokemon like celebi or mew in the game when you have to cheat to get them?

Why do I spend so much money on McDonalds monopoly? #uea2011

Yikua

I always think about the past and how its affecting my future. I think about people I hate and how much I hate them. I think about the people I love and how I can tell them how much they mean to me. Why can't we all understand one another. I'm sick of so called friends judging me. Deciding the right things for me to do, acting like they're going in the right direction themselves. No one will ever understand my trials.

High school is a pain in the a$$. Everyday it gets harder to wake up. I'm sick of PDA. I'm done with teachers, activities and talking about my future. Unlike most people, I'm not sure what I'm doing or if I'm prepared. It's getting harder for me to wake up and put on this face. If only you knew me.
From,
Abe akwuegbu

White Men Can't Jump

In honor of the upcoming NBA season, here are some sick pictures of facial dunks.

Drugs and Asians

I'm giving you direct orders to rock the s*** out. Rock out like you just woke up thinking it was a school day..... and it isn't. Like you just realized you don't care about school and decide to sluff the rest of the day. Rock you like someone dropped a chiachia on your porch. Rock out like your life depends on it. Rock out like everyone is watching you, judging you on your rocking out skills.

Rock out like you woke up and your child looked like this. Rock out like you found out your in love. Rock out like you got front row tickets to the super bowl. Rock out like your a gosh dang ginga ninga. 

Rock out like you were on the last plane out of Vietnam. Like Hitler just died. Like you were just released from jail. Like you just found out Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Catherine Zetta Jones were are real. Rock out like you just finished a book. Like you aced the ACT. Rock out like you finally got the balls to chop of your own leg after days of it being stuck under a rock. Rock out like your favorite song is on. Rock out like you just won the championship on 2k with the Charlotte Bobcats. (Or Raptors)

Most inspirational Funny movies/shows

Workaholics
Tosh.0
Anchorman
Kung pow
Ping pong player

If you beg to differ please comment. i would love to see what you common folk find funny.

Duct tape and bacon

Magnetism is one of the six fundamental forces of the universe, with the other five being gravity, duct tape, whining, remote control, and the force that pulls dogs towards the groins of strangers.

Come, midget, and use my pillow as a sleeping bag.

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean 1 enjoys it?

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Duct tape is like the force. It had a light side a dark side and it keeps the universe together.

If you do a job well done, you'll get stuck with it.

Gingers

Bueller

"Life's short. If you don't stop and look around once and a while, you could miss it." Ferris Bueller.

Life's to short to waste my time at school. I don't need to know science or math. I guarantee you a never use this crap outside of school again besides the random occasions when I say "Spiders aren't insects because they have eight legs and insects have six." I'm wasting my gosh dang time. When I'm on my death bed 60 years from now, I'll be thinking about how the first 20 years of my life at school. My occupation will have been pokemon mating. It pays big bucks.

I just looked up the 3 most important things in life. This is what this 40 year old single blogger said.
1. Faith
2. Family
3. Integrity

I'll call B.S. The 3 things that matter most to me are:
1. Woman. You gotta love them.
2. Sports. Mainly basketball.
3. I suppose family and friends.

There's only way rule in life.

Fetch all rules.

I heart George Costanza. #failure

Leprechauns and the Deaf

I'm afraid of enjoying the smell of my own farts. And I do.

I'm afraid of those dang leprechauns. Babies, Adults, Fetus. Just the thought of a ginger midget running around doesn't sit well with me. Leprechauns In The Hood changed my life.

I'm afraid of fortune cookies that say "kill yourself" or "your life is worthless" on them.

I have a fear of going into the mountains and seeing a legendary pokemon..... and not being prepared to catch it.

I'm afraid of meeting Helen Keller.

I'm afraid of children cartoon movies actually being good. I have yet to run into that. Space Chimps was the closest but I guess that would have more to do with the alcohol than the actual movie.

 I'm afraid of watching old people work out. I hope you dislocate a shoulder while lifting that 5 pound weight. And wear some decent clothes you bag.

I'm afraid of Abraham Lincoln's beard having its own thoughts and feelings.

I'm afraid of finding spoons in my pockets.

 I'm afraid of Asian Buffets. No one knows how many health code violations they breaking in their. Same with Mexicans. I'm not suppose to hear you kill the chicken.

Love

Love is seeing the person you love and having a loss of words. To me there are no words to describe the person you love. But how would I know? Is it possible to love this young? To be honest, I don't know if these feelings I have are true love. Is there such thing as a 'true love'? Why put true in front of it? I wish someone would describe to me what I'm suppose to feel when I see the one.
When your with the one you love, you have never been more happy. And when your not with them, you spend every gosh dang second thinking about them. It sucks. I never thought I would think of a woman more than I think about my Pokemon. I'm still I child. How could I be feeling this?
Love is never ending......

Human

To me, humans are becoming an extinct race. There are less and less of them. Everywhere I go I see more and more robots.
Humans seem like they are always plugged in. Soon I'm thinking once we are born they are going to have earphones implanted into our skins like a vein. People are having less and less human interaction. To us, a like on Facebook gives us a social high, or a retweet on twitter makes us seem important in this world. And making eye contact is a dying breed. People have their faces buried into phones, iPods, computers.
I'm not saying that I'm not a robot. Right now as I'm posting this am ignoring social contact with a group of girls I despise.
I am robot.

Screw school. School is what made me like this. School made me fear writing, made me feel like I wasn't good enough for it. School made me think that I had to write like Emily Dickinson or Ralph Waldo Emerson. If my writing wasn't inspirational like theres, it wasn't even worth it. I made myself think that I wasn't creative enough for these things, that my thoughts weren't orginal. Who gets to define what creative is? I do. This creative writing class is changing the way I write. Don't think to much about what you write, just write. I'm sick of caring what people will think about me. I try so hard to impress people that I leave no impression.

My hero is George Costanza. No ones life sucks as much as his. He's short, fat, bald, and lives with his parents. Could you be more of a loser? Every time George gets a job, or even a girlfriend, he finds something wrong with it. All of our lives are freaking like that. We will never do or find anything perfect enough for us. We will never be satisfied. Even if things are going well you know that things aren't going to end out going your way. In the after life I can see God handing us giant scrolls of our failures. Why is it so hard to do the right thing, so hard to be successful?  But what the heck, I'm on a date with destiny. And her name is George Costanza.